I always tell Ian that I am one of the most positive people I know. I work really hard every single day to see the bright side of each and every situation. Do I struggle with it here and there? Definitely. However, since I am so intentional about staying positive, the few times that I am not, definitely throw me (and probably the people around me) for a loop. Staying positive in the worst situations is not always easy, but there are so many benefits that come along with a positive mindset. Let’s chat about it below! Here are a few ways to become more positive each and every day:
Why would you even want to find ways to become more positive? Your mindset and how you feel about situations (by the minute, hour, or day) definitely affect both your mental and physical health. It is probably affecting the people around you, as well. Let me give you an example of this!
Ian’s last job was terrible for his mental health. He was drowning in work, he was surrounded by other people drowning in work, and this resulted in a really toxic work environment. There was a lot of negativity going around and it was hard for him to stay positive. Most days were bad, but his negative headspace didn’t stay at home. He brought it home with him, which in turn, made our house a lot more negative, stressful, and downright depressing.
Now, keep in mind: I said that I’m one of the most positive people. But, when you are surrounded by a lot of negativity, that will become your norm, which leads me to my first point on ways to become more positive.
Choose your friends wisely
Choose wisely when it comes to the people you surround yourself with. It is a bit more tricky when it comes to family, which is what Ian and I experienced. I knew that he was having a rough time with work. To be honest, what CPA didn’t have a hard year during the pandemic? There was too much work, not enough hours in the day, and just a lot of pressure. So, I understand why it was so stressful, but it still should not have affected our entire family. This is exactly why I pushed him to find a new job. Thankfully, he did, and he is much less stressed now. And when it comes down to it, being together 10+ years comes with hard times, lots of transitions, growth, and adapting. This is just one of the hard times that we had to work through.
My point in all of that is sometimes with family, you cannot just push them to the side, so you have to help them through it instead…if they will let you. With friends, it is much different. You want to surround yourself with people who will make you a better person. When you get together with your friends, you do not want to talk about drama and negativity the entire time. You want to be able to have someone who will raise you up and help you walk in a better path. Needless to say, be picky with your friends. Find ones who are positive (for the most part, at least — everyone has their days!), and help you become a better person. These are the true, life-long friends that you can always count on.
Get outside
There are SO, so, so many benefits to getting outside. It’s an automatic mood booster and there really are so many health benefits to it. If Avery is having a rough day, it’s the first thing I do. We put shoes on and head outdoors. We go on a walk, play in the backyard, garden, or go to a playground. There’s a lot of scientific evidence behind why it is so good for both our mental and physical health, so make sure you reap the benefits when you need a boost in your mindset.
Shift your mindset
It is all about mindset and sometimes, you just have to make a shift. Whether you want to believe it or not, your mood and the way that you view each and every situation only have to do with YOU. Sure, Karen at work might have annoyed you today while she was talking on the phone. But, you have the power to change how you viewed your overall day, instead of letting her control your feelings. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop making excuses. There is no room for victim mentality here. You are in control of yourself and your emotions. Shift your mindset and start focusing on the positive aspects of your day instead of the negatives.
Since I ragged on Ian in the previous paragraph, I’ll throw out my struggles too. I work-from-home while taking care of Avery and to be completely honest, it’s a lot of pressure and stress. Sometimes when I have a moment where I lose sight of my positive mindset, I’ll totally freak because of the number of things that are on my plate…and I feel like nobody really understands. Being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job as-is. Throw in also trying to keep up with a real full-time job and business is exhausting. But, when looking at my job title in influencer marketing, you probably wouldn’t think of the pressure looming down on me, right? You probably only think about fun collaborations and free travel. Trust me – it’s much more than that and I am probably stressed more than the average human. Very occasionally, I’ll be out with my friends and they will talk about how great it is to have weekly help from family members. And honestly, sometimes I get really bummed because aside from Ian’s parents helping us here and there, we have nobody else in our “village.” Our village is non-existent. But, soon enough, I’ll snap back out of it and remind myself that 1) I am BEYOND lucky to have the privilege of raising Avery and having a WFH job that more than pays the bills is something that 90% of people could only dream of. See, even myself as the “most positive person I know” still struggles with finding positivity every single minute of the day.
There are TRULY so many things that you can find in your life that are positive…you just have to shift your perspective!
Find a job that you love
We spend so much time at work – it is unfortunately just the society that we live in nowadays. For many of us, a large portion of our days is spent at work; in fact, the average person will spend 90,000 hours at work over a lifetime. Based on that, it is very safe to say that our job or jobs definitely have a huge impact on how we view our life. If we love what we do day in and day out in our positions at work, we are bound to have a happier and more positive life. If we hate what we do and constantly complain about it, dread going to work, or feel miserable while working, we will never be truly happy or positive. This is why it is so insanely important to find a job that you love – it truly makes a difference when it comes to creating a positive life for yourself. I just talked about how stress I get with work sometimes, but let me just say one thing: I will forever love what I do and it has just been the BIGGEST blessing ever. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for the work opportunities that have come my way and I would not change it for the world.
Get help
You know… I talked with someone the other day who was so overwhelmed by COVID stuff. She is scared. She is overwhelmed. And she is definitely looking at the future with a glass-half-empty mindset. When you feel so overwhelmed that it’s really hard to see the positivity at all (even if you have a handy list of ways to become more positive), it might be time to ask for help. I believe that talking with someone is so beneficial (even if it is just a friend), but you might want to consider professional help if depression or anxiety is taking over.
Take time for self-care
I just talked about this with Ian. As a parent, it can be so hard to find time for self-care. Ian says that he is number 27 on the list because everything and everyone comes before his needs. I KNOW that it’s hard to find the time for self-care. Trust me, I go days (sometimes even a week) without showering because there is just not enough time in the day, but the only person that is hurting is EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY. You’re probably confused, but let me explain. To give, you need to have something to actually pour out of your cup. I know you’ve all heard the phrase about pouring from a glass that is empty, and it’s so true. When you are not taking care of your needs, it does not just affect your physical and mental health…and your positivity. It affects every single person that you are around. You cannot take care of the people around you, if you are not taking care of yourself. To become more positive, to feel like your life is more manageable, and to really live in the moments fully, you absolutely need to be taking care of yourself. Go get a massage, get a pedicure, read a book, sleep in, take a bath, work out. Whatever it is, take time for self-care because you deserve it.
Create goals for yourself
If you are not working towards anything, sometimes life can seem pointless and boring. Create goals for yourself to achieve! Maybe it is a fitness goal, a work goal, or something even more fun. whatever it is, stick to it! For me, these are my current goals:
-Find time to paint our kitchen island
-Choose out tile (or wood) for our house
-Work out 5 days a week until we go to the beach
-Start eating clean again (had a slight slip up with junk food when we had COVID and my body is PAYING for it)
There are so many ways to become more positive, but these are a few of my favorite ways. While it can be challenging to shift your mindset from picking out the negative aspects of your day and while it might be hard to see the light at the end of a tunnel during a really stressful time in your life, the benefits are very worth fighting to find that positivity. When you look at each day as a fresh start and when you take control of your life and really aim to make each day the greatest that it can be, you will be so much happier! Stop letting things that are out of your control rule your life. You are the only person who gets to decide how great you feel, so take charge and own it!